♥Tiffany's Blog♥

au reviour

2012-06-03T15:40:00.000-04:00

i'd die a thousand deaths
to be a saviour to
myself.
sacrifice my heart
and watch it plunge
to its demise.
all in the name of
self-preservation.

love this!

2012-06-02T22:18:00.001-04:00

One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. ~G.K. Chesterton, "The Logic of Elfland," Orthodoxy, 1908

know thyself sucka

2012-05-31T01:24:00.000-04:00

All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

I am a good woman. I am smart and sincere and can thoroughly discuss topics from politics to religion to the color of shit. I know I can be insane when provoked. I am emotional. I sometimes react without thinking first. My sense of humor is outrageous and at times totally inappropriate. The long and short of it is that I am not perfect. Surprise! However, as of late, I think I have gotten lost in the sauce. I lost my mind and most importantly, my constitution.

My core principles are to be honorable, respectful, trustworthy, honest, sincere, understanding, patient and a slew of other qualities that I am willing to give of myself and what I expect from others. But while I was sharing a story with my best friend about my interactions with a man, I paused in embarrassment because I realized that I had compromised myself horribly for the validation of someone who meant me no good at all. It was the type of shame that you experienced when you realized that your reality was grossly distorted. The humiliation of reviewing countless conversations and acknowledging that this person never truly cared about me. I think he may have even told me that he didn't in plain English. But mainly seeing, that I didn't have enough respect for myself to not tolerate it. Since when had it become ok for someone to call me a "bitch" repeatedly? Reject me repeatedly? Devalue me repeatedly? Did I not appreciate or see the value in myself? Was the sex that good? Did I go temporarily insane and forget my worth? Did I really consider someone a friend who never asked about my day or my goals or to consider how what was said truly affected me? Why the fuck was I so absent and where had I gone? Was I hiding under a rock of stupidity?

I had to honestly consider why I had compromised my core values that governed me for so long. Nothing was promised. It wasn't like other men didn't find me desirable. I went out on dates. So what value was this person bringing to my life? I had to realize that certain factors from my past definitely made me a bit more laxed than the average person in what I would or would not tolerate. Certain aspects of my past, made this person more attractive and alluring. Although, being called out of my name or annoying wasn't apart of the "tolerate this shit" list. I was fully aware that if this was not corrected, it could be a vicious cycle and spawn wings from a monster that had already been killed a while ago. Also, you never really know if who you are dealing with, is even aware as to why they respond a certain way to people and situations. All types of factors come into play like parents, whether present or absent, and the role they played affected them. Shit, I am pretty sure having an absentee/sporadic/anti-social (haha-- there's my fucked up sense of humor again) father has affected me in a few ways. People can be fucked up and going through things on a sub-conscious level and not be aware at all. You can like shit sandwiches because that's all you've been fed your entire life, so you don't know any better. But once you know better, you should absolutely do better. All in all, this experience has reminded me why it is so imperative to know thyself and thy constitution. Woo-sahhh.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

With a ton of love and kisses,
Tiffany :)

rejection.

2012-05-15T02:40:00.001-04:00

heavy like molasses
and it goes down like
honey on thorns
clings like the
heat of summer.

fragrant.

2012-05-12T02:58:00.000-04:00

when i am alone

i feel your presence

all over me.

you haunt me

with a vengeance

as though i took your soul.

i reek with desire

you will beckon and i

will come again.

rainy day

2012-05-07T21:35:00.000-04:00

poem by: nikki giovanni

wealth

2012-05-06T23:04:00.002-04:00

i will

fall, lavishly,

over you like silk

drapery on ten feet

tall windows.

i will

lie, seductively,

on you like a persian

rug over

wood floors.

i will

engulf you, subtlety,

like a fire blazing from

a marble glazed fireplace.

with sincere and honest

sentiments,

loyalty,

honor,

devotion and

love.

catalyst

2012-05-06T21:17:00.000-04:00

for stripping me bare,
raw,
like your whipping boy.
you have incited me
in my injury.
and in silence
my thoughts
flow unrestrained
like blood from
a stab wound.
flatline.

...said the blind man

2012-05-05T23:52:00.001-04:00

you will dance this
dance for a while
and in the end,
it still won't work.
you know this.
and you know this.
two egos fighting
for supremacy.
and interrupting.
you don't trust.
and you don't trust.
and ever since
with everyone it is
guilty until proven
innocent.
and now,
we have the right to
remain silent.

gnikcuf tihs

2012-05-04T22:33:00.000-04:00

uoy rits em.

i etah ti.

ym enohp til pu dna

i wenk, ylddo,

ti saw uoy.

hgis.

sunny day! :)

2012-05-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

organic

2012-05-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

i am not that girl
no free advertisements
posting pictures of my noose.
change the channel.
i love the accoutrements
of a good read
that puts my thoughts
to sleep,
but wakes my psyche.
i'd never put 300
on the floor.
when there is still hunger among us
they're thirsty for meaning
to their mediocre lives.
trying to impress
mere strangers.
10,000 shovels couldn't
find depth
but dig graves as timeless
as slavery.
the collective pain body,
pains me.
i appreciate the luxury of
comfort, real love not labels
on throw blankets.
this is organic.
i am not made in tiffany's.
but were you sold to the highest bidder?
so congrats,
i guess you were always
the winner.

plaid girl!

2012-05-02T19:00:00.000-04:00

My fave denim blazer and tartan plaid scarf! :)

Lips: Nymphette Lip Glass & Ravishing Lipstick & Cork Lipliner (on top only)

Eyes: Dirty, Smokey Eye!

foto shoot with muffin man

2012-05-02T18:30:00.000-04:00

Be Kind.

2012-05-02T09:34:00.001-04:00

We are our own worst critics. We tear ourselves down before anyone else ever gets the chance. Whenever you start to get into that negative mind space, be kind. We all need and want the same thing! :-)

apathy

2012-05-02T08:41:00.000-04:00

i used to pray
to not feel things.
to not be so empathetic.
to not react.
to not care.
but i was designed by
a perfect creator.
who reigned supreme.
who smiled when i noticed
little purple flowers
peering thru a
sea of green blades of grass.
but if the only alternative
to being kind-hearted and
forgiving
is to be bitter, angry, cold
and despondent.
then i will choose me
as i am.

words kill things

2012-05-01T11:03:00.001-04:00

she stares numbly
at photographs
her entire
being withdrawn
it's no longer
safe to come out.
she would
rather lose a claw
than let go.
but this time
she released.
there was nothing more
that could be done
words flew like
stray bullets
with wild abandon.
taking her out
of her misery.

i see red.

2012-04-30T02:13:00.000-04:00

i was stunned.
shock and awe
and mostly
embarrassment
covered my face
as you spoke, what to me,
seemed to be the last words
i'd ever hear fall from your
beautiful, perfect mouth.
i recalled prior rejections.
none quite as harsh
but it seemed as though
your denial
fueled my desperation.
i can't believe
the photos i took,
the texts, my words.
ghastly thoughts
linger like foul, rancid odors.
i am fucking embarrassed,
in vain.
and i took that call,
like a champ.
i never lost stride.
i just turned back, smiled
and pretended
like you didn't just smack me
in the face, with your open palm,
thru the phone.
i didn't even cry.

piss on me

2012-04-30T02:00:00.001-04:00

he barked
vehemently at me
beyond the gates of
his own security?
that same wild
beast that warned me not
to venture nearer.
yet i came.
he bites me.

dogs piss on things
that stand still too long.
then move on.

so chaud!

2012-04-29T00:25:00.000-04:00

Lips: So Chaud Lipstick

Eyes: Blackground Paint Pot & Carbon E/S with Black liquid liner

girl about town: daytime

2012-04-24T00:28:00.000-04:00

Lips: Girl About Town & Beet Lipliner

Eyes: Who knows? :)

we are religion.

2012-04-16T01:43:00.001-04:00

you are in me
you. are. in. me.
as if I am a temple
and you lay your
sacrifice upon my altar
we are religion
this is sacred.
every defense
is down and
i succumbed completely
to you.
i am at your mercy.
not by a hug
or a kiss
but i have laid bare
all that i am,
in the highest
form of intimacy.
how much closer
could i be to you
in this moment?

randoms

2012-04-12T18:08:00.002-04:00

Having a little drank with a buddy! Aye aye Cap'n!

A sketch done from Somerset Collection Magazine on my iPad

Me posing in Starbies! :)

mayday

2012-04-12T02:02:00.000-04:00

He's absurdly divine.

Flirtations fly like patterns

of migration.

I steal, you steal, we sneak glances like thieves.

Intoxicate one another like my perfume

and his cologne as we rise like arm hairs.

He's unforgivable and I'm teetering

the line on being an angel or bombing like stealth flowers.

I kamikaze dive into his heart when he crash lands on me.

(Just a play on words)

random lyrics

2012-03-21T01:59:00.001-04:00

"...stop playing i aint with that bull-ish, ninjas act like bishes! shanaenae oh my goodness..." love that part. Thx Wayne :)